Don’t  Fight Alone

Would you rather fail alone or get help and succeed?

The longer I live, the more it almost seems people would rather fail on their own than invite someone into their struggle for the possibility to succeed.

Fight Alone Mentality

“Whew, that was close! (as we stand in the midst of smoking embers of a complete crash and burn) At least no one saw me struggle.  That would have been a disaster!”

I have had the phrase #FightAloneWinTogether on my mind for a while, but I believe Father is saying this for now, “No one fights alone in 2017. If you are fighting your battles alone, stop it.”

We have a clear choice to continue to fight and struggle alone or partner with others to overcome obstacles we are facing.

Check this out: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“SO THAT”   

Think back over your history to broken and dysfunctional relationship situations whether it be family, work or church.  Can you think of examples of broken relational situations where people were inviting help into their life? Many people want something that is broken to be fixed but the idea of talking to someone about it is even worse to them than being broken and dysfunctional.

If we can’t be real and be healed, then what do we have to offer?  We can only offer a front that we put on but it has no long term ability to give something of substance.
Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10, 12‬ NLT says,”Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” ‭‭

Pretty simple, isn’t it?

Truth?  Confession time….. . I have been guilty of fighting alone in life.  There was a time it seemed better to struggle than to admit to someone that I needed help.

Sometimes we are alone in our struggle and we need someone to reach out to us, but 99% of the time “lonely” is a choice.  It is amazing how we can be surrounded by people at home, work, school or church but, when it comes down to it, we are really facing our issues on our own. We have all heard stories of people who were a public success but had private struggles and failures that led to shipwreck results. How sad it is to make the decision it would be better to crash the ship than let someone in the boat to help.

I consider myself a “recovering strong person.”  I used to think I was indestructible and should be able to do and figure out everything on my own.  Now, I am coming to grips with the fact that I am very much a man in need.  Remember this, “You might be a tough cookie, but you’re still just a cookie.” Reality is that fighting alone is waiting to fail.  It begins with our need of Christ and then to our need of others to strengthen us along the way.

I like this analogy:

Imagine if we all had to swim across the Atlantic Ocean.  Some would make it twenty yards and others a few hundred yards.  Some might even make it a few miles but no one would reach the other side without a rescue.

We can pretend we are “good to go” but the truth is all of us will eventually need help.

I believe the Holy Spirit led me to have a B-Team (B for Bob) this year.  I have a small group of men that I contact by text or in person with specific needs to pray for as they arise.  It has been an incredible strength and help to have the strength of others lifting me up.

It seems like such a simple and obvious idea that I should have started long ago but I am a #RecoveringStrongPerson so I have been a little slower than some.

Who is on your team?  

The first step is that someone has to know what is going on with you.  Is there anyone right now who knows what you are excited or happy about? Is there anyone who knows what you are facing or battling with in your heart and mind?

If not, then you are fighting alone.

If my social media wall is the first place I go to share my troubles, joys and struggles then I am most likely fighting alone.  Your future, the health of your relationships and your family are too valuable to continue to fight alone.

Think about these questions.  Who are those that encourage or build you up? Who are those that are invested or interested in you?

Hopefully, you have one or two people you can think of.  Many times the reason we don’t have this in our life is because painful experiences involving people have led us to believe it not safe or beneficial to have people close to us.  I would encourage you to not accept that lie.  There are genuine people out there that are not there to criticize or condemn.    You may have to search a little but you can find them with some effort.

If you don’t have someone in the fight with you, maybe consider joining a small group at a local church or a support group of some type.

Ask those in charge of the group of people you are considering, “Do you have anyone that knows what you are happy or sad about right now in your life?”  Or, “I am looking for a place to be encouraged and supported, who would you say encourage you and support you and how?”

Those may seem a little awkward to ask, but their answer will be very telling as to whether or not it is a place you would want to join with.

Do yourself a favor, stop fighting alone.  Link arms with someone this year and win together.

Still don’t know where to start? Drop me a message.  I would be glad to talk about some possibilities.

Additional Links:

Discuss and Apply it:  Process it over some coffee or with friends. ..

  1. Have you ever wanted to be like the Lone Ranger or a superhero?  Why or why not?
  2. Do you hold yourself to the expectation that you should be able to handle life and all it brings alone like a super hero?
  3. Would you rather struggle alone so no one sees your weakness or overcome by getting help and support?
  4. Take a look at James 5:16.  What are the 3 actions/verbs that take place in sequence?   According to the verse what is the secret to seeing our faults and broken places healed?
  5. Have you ever had a friend you would have helped, but they struggled alone through a hard time and still held it against you?   How did that make you feel?  Have you ever struggled alone and been frustrated or mad at others for not supporting you when, truth is, you hadn’t let them know you were having a hard time?
  6. Do you agree with this statement, “lonely is a feeling but alone is most often a choice.”  Why or why not?
  7. Are there a couple people you would consider safe and supportive enough to commit to contact for prayer/support?
  8. Take the Lone Ranger Quiz HERE to discover your ‘Lone Rangerness’ levels.




    1. Thank you – I am a pastor/counselor/friend and parent myself with them – I have seen more more these days how parents live lives that way and then wonder why their kids don’t want any input when they turn 16. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I love this. I love the practical approach you took in this post! It’s so important for us to find those people who can link arms with us. This made me think: who knows what I’m sad/happy about right now? We all need those people in our lives. Thank you so much for linking our post!


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